I can remember in the early years of working as a management consultant in large corporates, doubting myself, overthinking, hiding and holding back even as a high-achieving female leader!
I can remember:
- Not feeling myself at work or in life. I wanted to express who I really was and communicate more freely, but I felt inhibited, stuck, trapped in my own thinking and so was silent! Sometimes around management tables!
- Not feeling totally happy inside I was searching for answers to happiness, however had an echo in my mind that my searching ‘out there’ wasn’t where the answer to happiness was!
- I was masking the real ‘me’ and felt small and limited in what I was capable of both professionally and personally..
There are three key words that sum up my story of how I came to see and know true happiness.
CURIOSITY ~ DISCOVERY ~ AWARENESS
I will share with you what each mean to me and hope that some of it resonates with you.
Curiosity – investigating the nature of our being
- I have always been a very curious person and really interested in understanding what it means to be a human being. My curiosity lead me to read a huge number of books, ranging from leadership, psychology, books on the brain, mind and spirituality.
- A key book that opened up the possibility that I was looking in the wrong direction was a book called ‘The Missing Link’ by Sydney Banks. I realised that I had been giving my attention to all of the activities, thoughts, feelings, perceptions of my experience and not noticing what is always there and that doesn’t come and go. That is Awareness!
- I knew I was onto something! So I continued my investigation into the nature of our being reading and listening to teachers such as: Rupert Spira, Garret Kramer, Rhonda Burns, Moogi and many others.
A key question that I asked myself that took my attention back towards myself, the one who is aware was; “What is it that knows or is aware of my experience?”
“We cease using the world to serve our happiness and we start using our happiness to serve the world.”
Awareness – knowing this is who we are
This might be a bit harder to understand and might seem a bit weird to you, however I share it here as it is what I have seen and underpins my work as a coach.
- Somewhere along the line I learnt to feel separate from myself, separate from love, peace and freedom. So went seeking myself in the world. I went seeking love.
- Although we seem to be many people, separate from each other and other things. We are not as we appear to be!
- If we really look, we can’t find a separate person, although it appears there is. What we find is the awareness that knows the feeling, that knows the thought.
- When I am not seeking happiness, I notice that I am happiness. Happiness can be substituted with Love, Peace, Wisdom, Freedom.
- I have seen that everyone and everything share their being
How does this knowing impact my life and coaching work?
I have found that by taking this perspective into my life, into my client work, into my interactions with anyone I meet, if irrespective of the way the person acts, behaves, they are the same being as myself and I let this understanding inform my relationships.
What I have found isn’t anything new. It’s not something we need to gain or learn. It’s a stripping away of this understanding in ourselves as being a separate entity (mind and body) and sinking back into the knowing that has never left us.
Are you curious? Find out more about working with me.
I’M NOT ABOUT:
- You having to feel you need to be or need to try to have to feel a certain way.
- Working with your story of who you are.
- Helping you to achieve an outcome in order to feel fulfilled.
I LOVE TO:
- Be on coaching calls with my clients,
- Write proposals for working with prospective clients,
- Go on long dog walks with the family and friends
- Collect delicious sour dough bread freshly made from the bakery down the road,
- Run across the fields,
- Go open water swimming at Vobster Quarry with some gorgeous friends,